Dust Jacket Rejects

SatireLiterary Works of Staggering Importance

“Easily one of the shittiest jamjobs in modern publishing in recent memory”
— Malik Horvath • USA TODAY

“Just think, if Sean Spicer had zero business ‘talking’ then just imagine his brains getting shotgunned across each and every page.”
— Jennifer Beth Dickerson • MADEMOISELLE MAGAZINE

“John Bolton’s languid, sanctimonious prose wears pretty thin, and his ‘poor little match girl’ routine is just as stupid as it is obvious.” — Jeremy Prendergast • The Federalist

“Living with the knowledge this is the walrus who let a spaghetti & meatball-stained crumb nest infiltrate his face?! His big dumb walrus face?! Like, 100% on purpose?! And he had top-level security clearance?! F&$k ME!” — Evelyn Cyndicut • Winston Chalmers Gazette

“It is the judgement of this court that we find myself GUILTY…OF FRIGGING LOVING THIS BOOK!!!” — Cynthia Bae-Frutters • Better Homes & Gardens

“The highly sensationalized psychosexual underpinnings of this lurid total bitch normally interest me, but this one completely grossed me out…and I’m a convicted sex addict!” – Ron Jeremy’s Dog • via email