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...imagine a place! A place to kick back! To “make relaaax!” To give (and-gift!) ourselves the grace of awareness, where we sign each other's permission slips and let those pesky (but-hard-working!) panic disorders get the whole stupid fricking night off. So go ahead! Say “yes!” Undo that top button on your feelings, and let’s all fricking color-block the night away, shall we?

LIONEL RICHIE’S “ALL NIGHT LONG” ↦ Eye-popping colors! Tapable beats! I mean, it’s got everything! Like numerous subplots. Of mystery! Intrigue! There’s even robotic “mannequin dancing.”

Oh! And then there’s part with the cop. He serves up a nail-biting (not-a-joke!) JUMP-SCARE!!! Like for every dancing man, woman, and child out (and up in!) these streets. Because at first? He’s gruff. Intimidating.

He moves on the crowd (ARE WE REALLY GOING TO PRISON?!) brandishing his nightstick—and then?!

Nope. He does not overstep his judicial authority (plot twist!) that fully instigates a race war (wrong! if that’s your guess) by indiscriminately clubbing people about the face (another wrong guess!) NO!! The officer did not start spinning his nightstick to brutally demonstrate why nightsticks (mid-dance!) are deadly weapons! NO.

He started spinning it like a baton! FOR LIKE A PARADE!! To be held in the (super bright!) dead of night. To dance and to sing! With an impulse! That IMPULSE! An occasion of joy!

Improvisational movement! THAT impulse! The beautifully HUMAN kind…

An implausible, fully choreod gathering! Just as sudden it was “neat” and by “neat” I mean “difficult to fathom” and “tough to admit” and “QUITE LITERALLY HARD TO BELIEVE!!!”

All types! A living mosaic! Dozens of races, colors, and creeds! Of varying socio-economic backgrounds (and sex proclivities!) in unison! Just losing their MOTHER. EFFING. MINDS.

And for what? ...the applause? Nope! Wrong AGAIN! Why?!! Because science. Because the science of motion pictures. Which, YES DAD! THEY ARE A TRICK!!! NONE OF THE PEOPLE CAN HEAR OR SEE US. WHY?! CUZ IT’S A “MUSICAL” VIDEO FROM “IN THE PAST” THAT “ALREADY HAPPENED” AND YES, WE KNOW! WE GET IT! IT’S “ALREADY ALL OVER!”

All types! A living mosaic! Dozens of races, colors, and creeds! Of varying socio-economic backgrounds (and sex proclivities!) in unison! Just losing their MOTHER. EFFING. MINDS.And for what? ...the applause? Nope! Wrong AGAIN! Why?!! Because science. Because the science of motion pictures. Which, YES DAD! THEY ARE A TRICK!!! NONE OF THE PEOPLE CAN HEAR OR SEE US. WHY?! CUZ IT’S A “MUSICAL” VIDEO FROM “IN THE PAST” THAT “ALREADY HAPPENED” AND YES, WE KNOW! WE GET IT! IT’S “ALREADY ALL OVER!”

But look. I’m still watching. We’re still watching. And collectively loving it. And to Lionel “Mister Dance” Richie?! If you’re reading this?! Or someone (like an assistant/your daughter) is reading it to you?! Then listen up, ya sexy flapjack! Cuz here’s my little surprise twist (probably) no one saw coming: Hey. Hey thanks. Thank YOU. For all of it. For everything. All night...

#ECF 🎧 ↯STAFF REPORTER